AMAZING COMMENT, both this post and your comment and the fact that I am the 444th "like" here have made MY day, and AI absolutely CAN NOT create synchronicity like that!
Some (many?) substack posts I just glide by in my email; never yours. I've tried to figure out why (besides being good writing - but tons of sub stackers are excellent writers, so that's not it). It's not philosophical (my tendency to lean into); not political (thank god!); not pretentious, scathing, overly literary... but you are just so very refreshing, unfailingly authentic, and entirely unique. Thank you; you are always a delight to read.
I look so forward to reading your writing, this feels like an early Christmas present, thank you so much. ♥️
Also, vaguely related re: technically correct asshole - At Starbucks the other day, I somehow grabbed my croissant bag upside down and it slipped onto to the floor. In less than 2 seconds I’d snatched it up and kept walking because, as I’d laughingly told the barista when he immediately offered to get a new one, I’ve certainly eaten more questionable things. I was embarrassed and had errands to run so didn’t want to wait, then a guy across the cafe started *shouting* at me to get a new one. Relentlessly yelling that I didn’t know what was on that floor, how sick I’d be if I ate it, on and on. I was mortified, and furious. I deliberately didn’t look at him after my initial startled glance, then allowed the gracious barista to give me a new one and thanked him heartily. I wish I’d handed him a cash tip and maybe told the loud guy to mind his own business from now on.
Or at least shut up while I made up my own mind to not eat food off a public floor…
I fell down an “up” escalator at LAX once. I was not intoxicated, merely tangled up in kit. There were many witnesses, and you’d have thought I’d done something truly appalling and personally offensive from the looks on their faces. No witnesses would have been much better.
The way I saw the notification you were back and immediately put my 9 week old baby down in her crib 20 minutes before nap time so I could enjoy this in peace. So worth it. Love your writing. Thank you ❤️
"Concerts never start on time and artists never play their hit song first"
My wife and I went to the Totally Tubular music festival this past summer (great line-up of 80s acts), and one of the artists was Tommy Tutone, whose big hit was 867-5309/Jenny. It's probably their only hit, right? They led with it, and had the audience on our feet immediately, everybody cheering, "867-5309-ee-yine!!!"
They then perform a couple of forgettable songs, lose the audience to their cell phones... and go, "For those of you who came in late, here's a song you might remember," and play 867-5309/Jenny a second time. Crowd goes wild.
Wellll, she DID play "Tom's Diner" with a big band at the end, so kind of the same?! (She sang it a cappella at the beginning, which is what we missed...
I’m so glad I’ve subscribed to you. Genuinely laughed out loud multiple times and also yes - in confrontational situations I (a Russian) am you and my husband (a Scotsman) is your husband. Oh how true it rings! He’s also terrified of inconveniencing people but I feel I’ve been slowly turning him into a more direct person. (I also order for him because he’s very picky and doesn’t want to bother the waiter)
I loved this so much. I get excited when I get your posts. My husband's family didn't use to say 'I love you' very often, but I'm from the deep south where that is considered a requirement. I worked on them steadily over the years. Now they're converted!
I had to comment because in high school my English teacher told that biscuit story as something that happened TO HIM. Until I read your essay I had no idea it was actually an urban legend??!! Wow he really knew how to entertain teenagers back in 2002 😅
LOL — the “the English urban legend” was quoted by Douglas Adams as happening to him with a pack of biscuits, & he was the one later embarrassed when he found out he’d eaten all the other man’s biscuits 😂 I saw it in one of his interviews on YouTube
Yay, so happy to read a post from you! Christmas came early!
That feeling like you live in the same sitcom as your friend—it's that sort of detail where the fine point you put on something intangibly heartwarming really makes me love your writing. (I wanted to end that sentence with an exclamation point, but after the first two, three felt a bit egregious.)
A friend of mine used to be a roadie for Suzanne. I saw her in concert in Cambridge (Massachusetts) a long time ago and sort of met her (we were in the same room, talking to the same group of people?), and it was a wonderful time. I get chills when I hear Tom's Diner!
Yay Jess! This post has made my day!
(And AI can’t do that!)
Thank you!!!!!
AMAZING COMMENT, both this post and your comment and the fact that I am the 444th "like" here have made MY day, and AI absolutely CAN NOT create synchronicity like that!
I was not expecting to tear up at the end of your tale, but here I am. Your writing feels like a cozy sitcom that I'm emotionally invested in.
Thank you so much!!!
Some (many?) substack posts I just glide by in my email; never yours. I've tried to figure out why (besides being good writing - but tons of sub stackers are excellent writers, so that's not it). It's not philosophical (my tendency to lean into); not political (thank god!); not pretentious, scathing, overly literary... but you are just so very refreshing, unfailingly authentic, and entirely unique. Thank you; you are always a delight to read.
too kind - thank you so much for reading and for the kind words!!
As the kids say, +1
I look so forward to reading your writing, this feels like an early Christmas present, thank you so much. ♥️
Also, vaguely related re: technically correct asshole - At Starbucks the other day, I somehow grabbed my croissant bag upside down and it slipped onto to the floor. In less than 2 seconds I’d snatched it up and kept walking because, as I’d laughingly told the barista when he immediately offered to get a new one, I’ve certainly eaten more questionable things. I was embarrassed and had errands to run so didn’t want to wait, then a guy across the cafe started *shouting* at me to get a new one. Relentlessly yelling that I didn’t know what was on that floor, how sick I’d be if I ate it, on and on. I was mortified, and furious. I deliberately didn’t look at him after my initial startled glance, then allowed the gracious barista to give me a new one and thanked him heartily. I wish I’d handed him a cash tip and maybe told the loud guy to mind his own business from now on.
Or at least shut up while I made up my own mind to not eat food off a public floor…
dropping things in public is hell!!
Dropping things and falling…never do I ever want to be completely alone without witnesses as then.
I fell down an “up” escalator at LAX once. I was not intoxicated, merely tangled up in kit. There were many witnesses, and you’d have thought I’d done something truly appalling and personally offensive from the looks on their faces. No witnesses would have been much better.
Worse? Falling in public!
I love your newsletter. Also congrats for having the nerve to shout WHY ARE YOU SO RUDE at a giant stranger! I aspire to that level of confidence
I thought I was morally superior. I was wrong...
Nah he was an asshole. The way you live your life is morally superior. Coming late, then sleeping, then leaving early? Unforgivable
So exciting to see the “Sorry I’m Late” alert! Brilliant always and you managed to make me teary as well.
oh, thank you so much for reading, Catherine!!!! xoxo
The way I saw the notification you were back and immediately put my 9 week old baby down in her crib 20 minutes before nap time so I could enjoy this in peace. So worth it. Love your writing. Thank you ❤️
This is the highest compliment I’ve ever received. I hope your baby sleeps well xoxo
"Concerts never start on time and artists never play their hit song first"
My wife and I went to the Totally Tubular music festival this past summer (great line-up of 80s acts), and one of the artists was Tommy Tutone, whose big hit was 867-5309/Jenny. It's probably their only hit, right? They led with it, and had the audience on our feet immediately, everybody cheering, "867-5309-ee-yine!!!"
They then perform a couple of forgettable songs, lose the audience to their cell phones... and go, "For those of you who came in late, here's a song you might remember," and play 867-5309/Jenny a second time. Crowd goes wild.
Legendary.
Wellll, she DID play "Tom's Diner" with a big band at the end, so kind of the same?! (She sang it a cappella at the beginning, which is what we missed...
Ooh, I like that. Different versions. I gotta say, I'm not against bookending a concert with the artist's top song/s.
I laughed, hard, 4 times reading this, and did I ever need to...thanks for saving me a small fortune in shrink fees. AI definitely cannot do that :)
Thank you, Lorian!!
I’m so glad I’ve subscribed to you. Genuinely laughed out loud multiple times and also yes - in confrontational situations I (a Russian) am you and my husband (a Scotsman) is your husband. Oh how true it rings! He’s also terrified of inconveniencing people but I feel I’ve been slowly turning him into a more direct person. (I also order for him because he’s very picky and doesn’t want to bother the waiter)
What a wonderful piece, thank you!
thank you for reading!!!!
the way I YELPED when I saw this post alert! (AI can't do that)
a delight as always, thank you.
Hahaha
I loved this so much. I get excited when I get your posts. My husband's family didn't use to say 'I love you' very often, but I'm from the deep south where that is considered a requirement. I worked on them steadily over the years. Now they're converted!
Glad to hear it!!
I love the so many ways you recounted here "AI cannot do that" thank you :-)
I had to comment because in high school my English teacher told that biscuit story as something that happened TO HIM. Until I read your essay I had no idea it was actually an urban legend??!! Wow he really knew how to entertain teenagers back in 2002 😅
SO MANY MEN say it's their story!!! It's actually super old!!
LOL — the “the English urban legend” was quoted by Douglas Adams as happening to him with a pack of biscuits, & he was the one later embarrassed when he found out he’d eaten all the other man’s biscuits 😂 I saw it in one of his interviews on YouTube
i think lots of authors claim they wrote it but it's actually been around for AGES
Hahaha…that makes it even funnier
Yay, so happy to read a post from you! Christmas came early!
That feeling like you live in the same sitcom as your friend—it's that sort of detail where the fine point you put on something intangibly heartwarming really makes me love your writing. (I wanted to end that sentence with an exclamation point, but after the first two, three felt a bit egregious.)
A friend of mine used to be a roadie for Suzanne. I saw her in concert in Cambridge (Massachusetts) a long time ago and sort of met her (we were in the same room, talking to the same group of people?), and it was a wonderful time. I get chills when I hear Tom's Diner!
yes, it's such a good song! and thank you!